DAY 4/5: RESTLESS CRAVINGS.

I woke up this morning an hour and a half before I was supposed to.  This normally would not be a problem except my alarm clock was scheduled to go off at 5:00 A.M. so that I could prepare the day's concoction before heading off to work. 

At 3:30, I was shaken by the turning of my own stomach and knew that it was time again to head to the toilet.  Keeping my eyes closed hoping that this action would somehow prolong the sleep mode I was just in, I perched out of necessity and let the salt water flushes and senna teas and "lemonades" do their job. 

I have to say that after five days I was hoping that I would see more substantial results coming from my stool.  But so far, it's not much to describe.  I fear that perhaps I am not doing it correctly.  But like most directional projects, I become rather anal in following them as closely as possible for fear I will mess things up if not done properly. 

Overall, I feel good.  My first day back was yesterday and I had an amazing amount of energy.  I was not lethargic and lackluster like I can typically feel throughout the day.  But that makes sense: I am not gorging myself on every food item nor diluting myself with various coffee drinks and soda within the eight hours that I would normally be there. 

That being said, I still want food.  Yesterday and today have been very challenging for me.  Continuously presented in the face of large portions of oozing goodness, things that I would normally not think twice about shoving in my mouth, is testing my convictions.  Deep down I know that I am not going to cave.  All I need to do is walk over to my pre-made bev and I am fine a few seconds later. 

According to what I have been reading, it is not that I really want food.  These are simply cravings that I am having.  Psychological associations to eating.  What sounds good? Absolutely everything.  Items I would normally not even try make my mouth water.

In reality though I am looking forward to that very large green salad that is beckoning me.  The reading suggests that these cravings are a part of the cleansing process and will be eliminated with the next bowel movement or two.  If not, the next five days are going to be hell, I know that for sure.